Darlin’s First-Gen Journey: Embracing Pressure & Finding Community at NAU
As much as I want to finish college for my parents — the journey is ultimately mine.
#FirstGen I’m a first-gen — but what does that really mean?
First-Generation students are the first in their family to go to school. This recognition is on full display at college graduations where you often see special cords to congratulate you on your accomplishment.
However, the hardships of being first-generation is something that many don’t talk about.
For me, being First-Generation meant learning a language on my parents' behalf, learning, guiding, and teaching myself, since there was no one I could turn to for help.
My parents aren’t originally from the United States. Thankfully they were able to find a sense of community — however, it didn’t involve English.
Growing up, I was the only one who spoke English.
My siblings came after me — so before them, it was just me.
Making it on my Own
Since they didn’t know English, they would constantly tell me to do my best at school, and, that the education I would earn would last me a lifetime.
Both of my parents had to stop going to school to work to provide for their families. Since they didn’t get an education, they would tell me
- I had an opportunity to excel at school since theirs was cut short
- They were willing to do whatever it took to help me with that
I know now that they meant it with good intentions; however, as an 8-year-old all I felt was pressure.
Pressure to get it right and to excel or all their efforts would have been for nothing.
Pressure to get it right and for it to be perfect — which is why I was a straight A student from kindergarten to 12th grade.
It wasn’t easy for me to achieve those A’s. For much of my grade school education I would ask my parents for help, but they would tell me that they didn’t know.
I would walk away from them a bit defeated.
Back then, I didn’t like asking for help since it made me feel like I wasn’t smart. I made it my goal to always understand the material well enough the first time — and if not — to reteach myself by looking at notes.
High School Graduation
My high school graduation meant so much to me because I completed a portion of schooling they never got the chance to.
To me, it showed me that my efforts paid off. I knew that they felt proud of me and I was proud of myself to have accomplished what I did for them.
All that was left was for me to continue with school and go to college.
My parents told me my whole life that I should get a college degree.
That was my goal; however, looking at the expenses I wasn’t quite sure how that was going to be possible.
I applied to every scholarship I could find and I heard back from none.
I felt a bit defeated as their dreams for me and my goals for myself felt out of reach.
When I asked counselors at my high school, they would simply tell me to just keep searching online.
Enter NAU
Then Northern Arizona University offered me the Lumberjack Scholarship which covered all tuition expenses.
This helped us tremendously, and my parents said as long as the tuition was covered they would find a way to pay for the rest of my school expenses.
Being told that, I knew I couldn’t let the opportunity go to waste and that no matter what was going to come my way in college I wouldn’t let it stop me from graduating.
The summer leading up to my freshman year of college, I received an email about being eligible for the First Scholars Program.
I quickly applied to that and thankfully, I was accepted into that scholarship program as well.
It was true elation when I signed my program acceptance letter. Being a part of First Scholars not only entailed gaining a mentor to help me, but also $8,000 over 4 years.
In all my time at NAU, I have to give a really big thanks to First Scholars as they helped me in so many ways that I can’t even express.
It really is a program meant to help First-Generation students. First Scholars could sense what I needed and because of them, I didn’t feel as alone in college.
There were so many experiences in college that I had no idea to navigate. From navigating homesickness, struggling in class, roommate situations, career fairs, personal issues, and now graduation.
I applaud them for being with me through it all. They gave me guidance when my parents couldn’t and didn’t know how.
At times I wasn't sure if my major was right for me and they offered advice, telling me that I don’t have to feel contained to one thing.
The final act: College Graduate
As much as I want to finish college for my parents — the journey is ultimately mine.
Thanks to them and through my own resilience, I know how to help my own siblings when it comes to college.
I know how to help them apply to school, enroll in classes, look at college expenses, and give college advice.
My time at NAU has been the most valuable and my finish line is quickly approaching.
I am so excited to soon be joining and adding to the percentage of First-Generation Latinas who have a bachelor’s degree.
